Some of my memoirs of giving birth may be slightly graphic. Read at your own risk. J
With the impending arrival of Mother’s Day, I have been reminiscing about my pregnancy and nearly two years of motherhood. I was actually quite surprised when I realized how much I have truly changed. Sometimes I barely remember what life was like before Cupcake joined our family. Giving birth to my baby girl turned my neat little world upside-down… and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
My pregnancy was surprisingly enjoyable. I relished the experience of having a precious life growing inside me (minus the random strangers who insisted on rubbing my belly). I conceived in my last semester of my undergraduate and was overwhelmed with all the new beginnings. This was a period of my life that I look back on with a great deal of happiness.
The week before I went into labor was unbearably uncomfortable. It was blazing hot. I swelled up like a balloon, and shoes were no longer an option (besides one pair of flip flops that left deep indentions from being forced onto my puffy feet). The day before I was 39 weeks I began having complications and was sent to Labor and Deliver. After hours of testing, I was told to go home.
That night I woke up tossing and turning uncomfortably. I stood up to go to the restroom (for the twentieth time that night) and found myself standing in a pool of blood. I had been experiencing mild bleeding for the last 24 hours, but this was different. I was weak and dizzy. I had never even seen this much blood before. That was the single most terrifying moment of my life. My dear hubby and parents took me to the hospital. More tests were ran, I was told that I was having close and intense contractions. The baby should be arriving shortly. Unfortunately, that did not happen. After laying there for hours, I was still barely dilated. I finally asked for an epidural because I was in a great deal of pain with no end in sight. Due to the fact that I have slight scoliosis, the epidural was extremely difficult to administer. I am not sure how long it was in reality, but it felt like hours of digging into my spine. I was already exhausted, dealing with intense contractions, and having a huge needle pry between my vertebrea simultaneously. I had never even considered the fact that the epidural may not be an option, and I began to panic. Thankfully, it was eventually successful. Hours later I still had not began to dilate, and the doctors were becoming concerned for the safety of my baby. Since I had requested that a c-section be the very last option I was given Pitocin to move things along. A completely natural birth would have been my ideal, but at this point that was not going to happen. Even the Pitocin was very slow to cause dilation. Every few hours they gave me more.
The moment finally arrived, and the doctors rushed in for my delivery! To their surprise, Cupcake had shifted and was no longer in the proper position. I still wanted to attempt a vaginal birth if possible (obviously, I would have done anything to keep my little love safe). About an hour after the doctor stated, "Well, she has a lot of curly hair!" the tiniest little human was placed in my arms. I could not even form words at this point. All I could say was, "Ohhh, Ohhh" as my entire body shook profusely and tears poured down my cheeks. Her eyes were wide open and eager to see the world. I was in love.
I will never forget the first night I brought my little bundle of joy home from the hospital. I had barely gotten a wink of sleep in three days. I was looking forward to curling up in my own bed again. Little did I know that I could forget catching up on sleep anytime in the near future. Cupcake screamed her head off that night… and EVERY night for the first seven months of her life. I was a newbie and didn’t know what amount of crying was considered “normal” for newborns. I held my screaming baby all night and walked the floors all day with tears pouring down both our cheeks. Ultimately, the pediatrician informed me that I just had an extremely colicky baby. There was nothing to do but wait it out. I was told she would probably grow out of it in a couple months. A couple months came and went. She was still crying constantly. I tried natural remedies. I tried medication for reflux. I tried exclusively breastfeeding. I tried special bottles. Nothing made a bit of difference. I will always remember the morning I woke up in a panic because I had fallen asleep and never heard a cry. I rushed to my sweet baby to find her soundly sleeping. This was my first time I had slept uninterrupted for more than about an hour in nearly seven months. I watched my baby sleeping soundly, and I shed happy tears this time. I had just gotten six hours of sleep, and I felt like I could conquer the world! I barely remember those months due to extreme exhaustion (both physically and emotionally), but I do know that I survived.
My baby Cupcake is now 22 months old, and she is the most happy-go-lucky little lady I have every encountered! I adore watching her sweet personality blossom. I love celebrating each and every milestones she crosses. Her joy is contagious, and she makes me laugh every single day of my life. She filled a hole in my heart that I did not even know existed. I can not even begin to imagine life without her squishy little face. She made me a mommy. She made me a better person. And I love her to the moon and back.
That night I woke up tossing and turning uncomfortably. I stood up to go to the restroom (for the twentieth time that night) and found myself standing in a pool of blood. I had been experiencing mild bleeding for the last 24 hours, but this was different. I was weak and dizzy. I had never even seen this much blood before. That was the single most terrifying moment of my life. My dear hubby and parents took me to the hospital. More tests were ran, I was told that I was having close and intense contractions. The baby should be arriving shortly. Unfortunately, that did not happen. After laying there for hours, I was still barely dilated. I finally asked for an epidural because I was in a great deal of pain with no end in sight. Due to the fact that I have slight scoliosis, the epidural was extremely difficult to administer. I am not sure how long it was in reality, but it felt like hours of digging into my spine. I was already exhausted, dealing with intense contractions, and having a huge needle pry between my vertebrea simultaneously. I had never even considered the fact that the epidural may not be an option, and I began to panic. Thankfully, it was eventually successful. Hours later I still had not began to dilate, and the doctors were becoming concerned for the safety of my baby. Since I had requested that a c-section be the very last option I was given Pitocin to move things along. A completely natural birth would have been my ideal, but at this point that was not going to happen. Even the Pitocin was very slow to cause dilation. Every few hours they gave me more.
The moment finally arrived, and the doctors rushed in for my delivery! To their surprise, Cupcake had shifted and was no longer in the proper position. I still wanted to attempt a vaginal birth if possible (obviously, I would have done anything to keep my little love safe). About an hour after the doctor stated, "Well, she has a lot of curly hair!" the tiniest little human was placed in my arms. I could not even form words at this point. All I could say was, "Ohhh, Ohhh" as my entire body shook profusely and tears poured down my cheeks. Her eyes were wide open and eager to see the world. I was in love. I will never forget the first night I brought my little bundle of joy home from the hospital. I had barely gotten a wink of sleep in three days. I was looking forward to curling up in my own bed again. Little did I know that I could forget catching up on sleep anytime in the near future. Cupcake screamed her head off that night… and EVERY night for the first seven months of her life. I was a newbie and didn’t know what amount of crying was considered “normal” for newborns. I held my screaming baby all night and walked the floors all day with tears pouring down both our cheeks. Ultimately, the pediatrician informed me that I just had an extremely colicky baby. There was nothing to do but wait it out. I was told she would probably grow out of it in a couple months. A couple months came and went. She was still crying constantly. I tried natural remedies. I tried medication for reflux. I tried exclusively breastfeeding. I tried special bottles. Nothing made a bit of difference. I will always remember the morning I woke up in a panic because I had fallen asleep and never heard a cry. I rushed to my sweet baby to find her soundly sleeping. This was my first time I had slept uninterrupted for more than about an hour in nearly seven months. I watched my baby sleeping soundly, and I shed happy tears this time. I had just gotten six hours of sleep, and I felt like I could conquer the world! I barely remember those months due to extreme exhaustion (both physically and emotionally), but I do know that I survived.
My baby Cupcake is now 22 months old, and she is the most happy-go-lucky little lady I have every encountered! I adore watching her sweet personality blossom. I love celebrating each and every milestones she crosses. Her joy is contagious, and she makes me laugh every single day of my life. She filled a hole in my heart that I did not even know existed. I can not even begin to imagine life without her squishy little face. She made me a mommy. She made me a better person. And I love her to the moon and back.
"Before you were conceived I wanted you.
Before you were born I loved you.
Before you were here one hour I would give my life for you.
This is the miracle of life."
-Maureen Hawkins
Such a beautiful post! I have really enjoyed reading through your blog! I have nominated you for a Liebster Award! Here is the post to learn about it:
ReplyDeletehttp://newmommynewlifestyle.blogspot.com/2014/05/liebster-award.html
Can't wait to read more!
Thank you, Lyndsey! :)
Deletehow beautifully said.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful birth story! Pregnancy and birth are truly amazing. I just gave birth to our first child three weeks ago and cannot wait to write down his birth story. It is good to know that I will eventually have time to do that ;)
ReplyDelete